Posts on on The The Zennist Zennist Atom Atom Posts Posts on on The The Zennist Zennist RSS RSS Posts Posts on on The The Zennist Zennist RSS RSS Comments Comments on on Fake Fake Zen Zen Atom Atom Comments Comments on on Fake Fake Zen Zen RSS RSS Home Home Being Being led led into into a a pit pit of of fire fire Zen Zen is is far far from from being being mundane mundane The The Zennist Zennist Going Going to to the the very very heart heart of of Zen Zen Home Home Archives Archives Profile Profile Subscribe Subscribe Being Being led led into into a a pit pit of of fire fire Main Main Zen Zen is is far far from from being being mundane mundane May May Fake Fake Zen Zen Zen Zen Buddhism Buddhism is is sliding sliding downhill downhill at at a a rather rather fast fast rate rate becoming becoming fake fake Zen Zen which which is is a a distortion distortion of of Zen Zen s s history history tradition tradition and and ultimate ultimate object object By By distortion distortion I I mean mean a a narrative narrative that that essentially essentially falsifies falsifies Zen Zen by by a a variety variety of of means means such such as as omitting omitting key key facts facts and and altering altering others others To To aid aid those those who who are are new new to to Zen Zen I I have have decided decided to to do do a a Q Q A A between between the the Beginner Beginner and and Luànsēng Luànsēng 亂僧 亂僧 crazy crazy monk monk who who will will be be the the fake fake Zen Zen master master Is Is this this also also a a satire satire on on contemporary contemporary Zen Zen Hell Hell yes yes Beginner Beginner I I am am new new to to Zen Zen It It seems seems to to me me that that what what I I have have learned learned so so far far is is that that Zen Zen is is not not a a religion religion like like Buddhism Buddhism Luànsēng Luànsēng Yes Yes that that is is right right Zen Zen is is not not a a religion religion like like Buddhism Buddhism Buddhists Buddhists make make statues statues and and pray pray to to Buddha Buddha Zen Zen is is not not a a religion religion it it is is not not faith faith based based It It is is what what you you would would call call a a lifestyle lifestyle This This means means that that there there are are no no rules rules to to follow follow in in Zen Zen Yes Yes there there is is etiquette etiquette and and a a few few rituals rituals but but everyone everyone knows knows it it is is pretty pretty much much of of a a joke joke In In the the old old days days Zen Zen was was not not really really practiced practiced so so much much in in a a monastery monastery as as it it was was just just about about living living in in the the now now Beginner Beginner So So having having a a good good time time is is basically basically Zen Zen like like drinking drinking beer beer or or occasionally occasionally doing doing drugs drugs and and having having sex sex Luànsēng Luànsēng Basically Basically yes yes You You could could say say that that Zen Zen is is the the way way of of emptiness emptiness which which is is the the way way of of having having a a good good time time Nothing Nothing really really matters matters in in other other words words Beginner Beginner In In a a nutshell nutshell what what is is the the history history of of Zen Zen I I mean mean what what should should beginners beginners need need to to know know Luànsēng Luànsēng The The Chinese Chinese invented invented Zen Zen then then later later the the Buddhists Buddhists hijacked hijacked it it claiming claiming it it was was theirs theirs In In so so doing doing Buddhism Buddhism tried tried to to make make Zen Zen religious religious that that you you are are supposed supposed to to realize realize your your Buddha Buddha nature nature or or pure pure Mind Mind Also Also Buddhists Buddhists wanted wanted Zen Zen to to be be about about seated seated meditation meditation learning learning to to still still your your thoughts thoughts learning learning to to calm calm down down But But this this is is not not what what Zen Zen meditation meditation is is really really about about Zen Zen meditation meditation is is just just experiencing experiencing the the way way your your ordinary ordinary mind mind is is nothing nothing more more Zen Zen masters masters just just want want you you to to be be natural natural doing doing anything anything you you feel feel like like doing doing as as long long as as you you are are happy happy doing doing it it If If not not just just stop stop Beginner Beginner I I read read somewhere somewhere that that Zen Zen is is really really a a form form of of Taoism Taoism Is Is that that true true Luànsēng Luànsēng If If Taoism Taoism is is the the Way Way then then Zen Zen is is the the Way Way of of having having a a good good time time so so you you can can have have a a good good time time for for a a long long time time Before Before Buddhism Buddhism took took hold hold of of Zen Zen the the old old masters masters just just walked walked around around the the woods woods or or in in the the towns towns They They were were like like happy happy hobos hobos They They would would teach teach people people with with a a great great deal deal of of humor humor and and laughter laughter about about how how to to live live a a carefree carefree life life Alan Alan Watts Watts who who was was the the world world s s foremost foremost expert expert on on Zen Zen lived lived a a Zen Zen life life similar similar to to that that of of Liu Liu Ling Ling the the Taoist Taoist poet poet who who liked liked to to drink drink lots lots of of wine wine His His servant servant always always followed followed him him carrying carrying a a jug jug of of wine wine and and a a spade spade He He was was sure sure of of always always having having wine wine and and if if he he died died by by over over drinking drinking his his servant servant would would be be ready ready to to bury bury him him Alan Alan Watts Watts once once said said I I m m an an entertainer entertainer I I m m no no Buddhist Buddhist philosopher philosopher He He understood understood that that life life was was about about entertaining entertaining yourself yourself and and others others Beginner Beginner Why Why do do the the Zen Zen masters masters speak speak of of the the Buddha Buddha so so often often Luànsēng Luànsēng Basically Basically they they are are saying saying that that we we are are all all Buddhas Buddhas I I mean mean we we are are Buddhas Buddhas if if we we want want to to be be a a Buddha Buddha and and live live a a carefree carefree life life Jack Jack the the Ripper Ripper or or Ted Ted Bundy Bundy weren weren t t Buddhas Buddhas because because they they liked liked killing killing people people Beginner Beginner What What exactly exactly are are koans koans all all about about Luànsēng Luànsēng Koans Koans just just show show people people how how dumb dumb religious religious questions questions really really are are Sometimes Sometimes if if the the students students are are too too serious serious about about religion religion Zen Zen masters masters might might cut cut off off their their finger finger or or kill kill a a cat cat Beginner Beginner I I am am just just curious curious about about sex sex and and Zen Zen Luànsēng Luànsēng In In the the West West Zen Zen masters masters usually usually have have sex sex with with their their nuns nuns or or more more advanced advanced students students It It is is not not unusual unusual for for a a monk monk and and a a nun nun to to go go into into the the woods woods and and enjoy enjoy each each other other Since Since Zen Zen is is not not connected connected with with Buddhism Buddhism sex sex is is okay okay if if you you like like each each other other Just Just remember remember that that in in Zen Zen there there are are no no judges judges The The inspiration inspiration for for these these questions questions and and answers answers have have been been drawn drawn mainly mainly from from chat chat rooms rooms Over Over a a period period of of about about three three years years I I have have collected collected a a lot lot of of materials materials from from fake fake Zennists Zennists But But some some of of the the material material came came from from other other people people who who spent spent time time in in an an American American Zen Zen monastery monastery Putting Putting all all this this together together in in the the form form of of a a satire satire on on contemporary contemporary Zen Zen is is meant meant to to offend offend everyone everyone connected connected with with this this kind kind of of Zen Zen except except the the person person who who enjoys enjoys reading reading this this satire satire Posted Posted at at PM PM in in Buddhism Buddhism Current Current Affairs Affairs martial martial arts arts Meditation Meditation 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