I am having a nervous breakdown and don't know how to get out

Pre-College Issues High School Life
#1

I have never felt like I had any true friends at school and this year I took on a heavy course load

I just feel so lost and stressed all the time

I was so worried about what my parents would think about my math grade that I lied to them about the class average. They found out and took my car away.

I feel like I am a terrible human being and I feel so lost.

I think I’m having a long-term nervous breakdown. My hands always shake and I always have headaches and I feel like i can’t breathe. I hate myself and I have contemplated sending myself to the hospital just to get away from everything.

But I’m a high school senior and I’m afraid my parents won’t let me go to college if I tell them about this. I don’t know what to do.

I can’t tell my guidance counselor or anyone, because they’ll call my parents or they’ll call someone to take me away from my parents. They do it all the time at my school.

I’m a failure and I cant see a way out.

please help me.

#2

You might want to join an online community of teens with mood disorders such as anxiety, panic, and such. Try NAMI. Of course you’re not terrrible. You lied to your parents probably because you were afraid. If you don’t let your parents in on your mood issues, then you should immediately start using the counseling center at your college once you start. Or maybe you find a community-based self-esteem group now or in the summer prior to college. Perhaps even a girls camp? But in the meantime, read up on coping and resilience for young people. If you can, see a therapist now. Would your parents permit you to see one, say as you prepare for the transition from high school to college? Also, do you have tutoring in math available at school now? Of course you’re not a failure.

#3

Take a deep breath. It may feeling like you are dying now, but I promise it will pass. I have OCD and cried last night because I felt terribly lonely. I had to go out of class the day before that and walk around because I got so overwhelmed by the work. But today, I’ve had a good day.

You’re not a terrible person. You’re trying your hardest and you have hit a few bumps along the way.

I totally get the parents thing. You do need to tell someone though. Chances are its not going to go away and only get worse in college. If you really aren’t ok telling your parents, there is probably somewhere in your area that offers free mental health services. Therapists are bound by law to keep even minor’s issues private unless they have reason to suspect that you are going to severely hurt your self, another person, or are being severely hurt by someone else, and it doesn’t sound like those exceptions apply to you.

Telling your parents is honestly the best thing to do though. It took me being a complete wreck and dragging myself down from my room so my mom would see me. You can always write them and email or letter too, if you don’t want to talk face to face. I know I have to remind myself that even sometimes it doesn’t seem like it, our parents just want to help us. I’m sure all your parents want is for you to get better and go to college.

Your post breaks my heart because it sound a lot like what I’ve been through. PM me of you need anything ok?

#4

@Madeline25 I’m just not sure what to do because they’re pissed at me. And I’ve tried to talk to them before about it but they tell me that I’m being manipulative.

#5

@Madeline25 Should I just wait a few more days until they calm down? I just don’t have any friends that I talk to on a normal basis so I just feel so alone. I’ve never had any history of mental illness, so I don’t know why it’s manifesting now.

#6

I don’t see this as a reason you would be “taken away from your parents”. That is in situations where a minor is typically being physically abused or neglected. I do think you should talk to someone at your school – guidance counselor, school psychologist if you have one, or a teacher or administrator that you trust. You need adult intervention. Maybe just dropping a class and picking up a study hall would reduce your stress a lot.

Don’t lie to your parents any more (that usually makes them MORE mad than what you are lying about).

Given what you have said, your parents may be right to worry about the stress of college. At least consider what type of college environment you want. And there is nothing wrong with 2 years of CC to start with if it makes sense for you.

#7

You should ask your guidance counselor about their confidentiality policy. Many won’t tell your parents unless your are a danger to yourself or someone else. Since you fear not being able to go to college, I am guessing your are not a danger.

You can also talk to your family doctor, if you are over 18 they can’t tell your parents anything. They might prescribe anti-depressants. Even my 15 year old had to sign a release for us to be able to have access to her medical information. Self help books might be an option. Lots of churches provide free confidential counseling. Regular church services can be pretty uplifting too.

#8

Yes, as @nw2this has said, you can talk to your family doctor. I was surprised to find that she could not reveal anything my daughter revealed to her unless my daughter gave explicit permission.

Your letter breaks my heart. I also understand the concern about the community policing the children’s protective services seems to play where you live, and your subsequent fears of them being notified and taking action. So for that reason, I wish you would speak with your family doctor.

You know, you’ve said a bit here in this forum, and we all hope that brings you some relief, because once you’ve let the words out, it feels less heavy, less a secret that can blow up your whole world.

When you feel you are clear enough to let your parents know all that you wish you had support with, please go to them. Let them understand that you must do more than seek affirmation of who you are in school, and that you need a little guidance to get back on track. Tell them you fall sometimes, but they’ve taught you how to get back up, but it still hurts, and you need them now.

Let us know you are okay.

#9

Hey there, Emily! First of all, accept and acknowledge your feelings to yourself, maybe write it all down. Feelings are real and validate them, regardless of whether the reasons are right or wrong. Your health comes first so let’s focus on that. A broken arm does not wait for treatment neither should our minds when they are in dysfunction. You need treatment now. Know that your parents will love always. It’s ok to seek inpatient help , should a doctor decide it’s necessary. The first step is to call a professional, psychologist, psychiatrist, MSW or your PCP. Tell them the truth about how you feel and trust professionals. Ask all your questions but trust them. You have some long term issues that can be processed through counseling. These are very important issues, not to be taken lightly, but will need long term work. As a parent I would say parents are on your team but situations can differ. But first talk to a professional. Hope you get help now.

#10

You need to talk to someone, an adult you can trust. I don’t understand why they would take you away from your parents. Senior year is a very stressful time and these are also the years when a lot of people are diagnosed with mental illness. You are not alone.

#11

I doubt you’ll be taken from your parents, you’re not being abused. Taking privileges isn’t abuse. Most seniors are stressed, and not because of their parents.

Try to explain to your parents why you’re stressed. If you can’t talk to them, talk to a counselor first. If these feelings have recently begun, it’s probably because of school, not a mental disorder. You’re not a horrible person! Feel better.

#12

You’re a failure because of one math class or lack of friends? Your problems can be remedied and if you think not, your perspective is part of the problem. A guidance counselor is unlikely to be helpful. You may need a psychologist.

I didn’t have friends either. Kids that age can be real devils, so you might want to try socializing outside of school or if you’ve got a bad rep for some reason, consider transferring.

Just remember there are always options