Nervous breakdown

Hi, I would like some advice or help please. A lot has happened this year, I lost my job, then my Father died, who I had not seen for 15 years,but not without trying, then my wife decided to end our marriage after 21 years, but we had been together for 26 years. She had been unsure for a year or so , but it still came as a massive shock, she told me 5 weeks ago. I am still in love with her so much.I think I am suffering from a nervous breakdown, I cry continually all day ,I can't cope with anything really, I hide myself away, I feel so guilty and ashamed of myself, I burst out in tears the other day in the supermarket because I couldn't get my card out of my wallet , I don't sleep, I have panic attacks at night where I can't breathe, and my heart is pounding , and I feel so out of control, I wake up crying, I didn't even know that was possible, please someone help me and tell me what is happening to me? I have a doctors appointment in 4 days time , but worried they will just put me on antidepressants , i am worried about taking those. I have no history of depression , please someone advise me what is happening to me , i feel so out of control.

oh Duncan
I am so sorry to hear you are going through so much
xx
welcome to the forum and a huge hug from me
xx
if you are worried about going on medication ,maybe if you print off your post from here and show your gp it will give them a really good understanding of how you are feeling and what is going on in your life right now
a million hugs to im so glad you have found this place
we will help you as much as we can
xx

Hi Duncan,

I am sorry to hear what you are going through.

I think you have done the best thing by going to see the doctor about all of your symptoms and if you really don't want to take any meds then maybe just request some counselling??

Sorry I can't be of much help.

Stay strong and be safe xx

Duncan you're okay.

You're reorganizing yourself perfectly naturally.

Please clarify

Andrew Lorimer said:

Duncan you're okay.

You're reorganizing yourself perfectly naturally.

Click to expand...

Hi Andrew, oh I wish I felt that inside , kind encouraging words though, Please could you elaborate on what you mean ?

Hi Duncan,

You have suffered several loses in your life recently. Each one of which can be life changing. You seem to be a middle aged man and you give no detail of any mental ill health.

The shock you experienced, the crying, the failure to cope as previously, feelings of guilt and shame. These are all normal mental and bodily reactions. The pounding heart too is a bodily reaction helping you to manage your current situation.

You are panicking because you find it difficult adjusting to your new life conditions. You must try to think about yourself and what has happened to you.

Hi Duncan,

Sorry you're going through this. You are not alone in this-I know how you feel as I had the same reactions when I had my latest bout of depression and this came with a great deal of anxiety too.

I must clarify that I am not a professional so would advise going to see your gp for a proper diagnosis-you may find that counselling would benefit you-I have previously done CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) which can help retrain your thought processes although you may find grief counselling would be more beneficial.

Please keep talking on here too-we are happy to support you.



P.S. I just remembered a book I read that might help you: 'Self-Help for your Nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes. It explains how the body reacts to stress and fear and gives ideas to help overcome this to enjoy life again.

Hi Duncan,

Sorry to hear about this.
I think the panic and tears are probably representative of what is going on emotionally perhaps.

When loads goes wrong within a short space of time it's impossible to cope. Don't expect too much.
You start to think that you cannot control events in your life and that leads to panic, not sleeping and anxiety. The crying may be loss or simply sadness..... not surprisingly.

Seeing the GP is fair enough. He may prescribe antidepressants or sleeping tablets perhaps, or he may ask you questions to find out what is going on. With no depression in your past this is probably going to be seen as something "reactive" I would think....it may be depression. I don't know.

It may pass on it's own, or perhaps you will need some support or decide to take something to calm you. Only you can make those choices and many people take something short term to help get them through a difficult period like this.

Talking things through might help very much if the feelings are overwhelming, but I agree with Andrew....I think that the feelings and emotions coming out are normal reactions and it would be a good idea to give yourself a break and allow yourself to "feel" and get out these very understandable feelings.

Maybe discuss it with your GP and see if he can offer you any counselling if that is what you want.
Drugs aren't the only thing that GP's offer, although counselling may have a waiting list.

Also consider charities and hospices. Many offer grief counselling or pure counselling too. Some offer a nominal charge.

Whatever you decide, stick around and keep us informed as to how you are.
Welcome to the forum btw!
xxx

Duncan one thing which has and is helping me is exercise. Take it easy at first if your older (you have been married a long time so i am assuming you are fairly old) but exercise is good as it relives stress. It can be hard and don't ware yourself out too much but its good to get into a daily exercise routine. When your exercising it will take your mind away from anxious thoughts, it releases something which i have forgotten what its called that reduces stress and you will become healthier. The improvements you notice will hopefully help your mental health and mood. Good Luck. (See a doctor first and talk about exercise he might suggest a suitable exercise or routine depending on your health factors.)