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The support from my friends and family has been amazing but the one person I needed and wanted there helping me through this has abandoned me . I now blame myself for us breaking up , but until I broke down I did not know what was happening . My lifestyle has always been hectic , I am a warehouse manager and being for a mail order company it was a busy period leading up until Christmas , I also managed a Semi professional Football team where we trained twice a week and a match day on a Saturday , also in between I would set aside time to see my girlfriend , but I really did not stop . I am considered a good looking guy , but I don ' t have much confidence in myself , I met my girlfriend eleven months ago through a dating site , mainly due to my confidence issues . The next eleven months flew by we went on Holiday , and had many great times on our own and with her little girl who was fifteen months when I met her and I took on as my own child and developed a real emotional bond with her , naturally a few bad but the great massively outweighed the bad . I started to feel really unwell before Christmas , and in between Christmas and New Year I visited the doctor and was diagnosed with a severe chest infection , this was true but I think it was masking a deeper problem that my depression was getting worse . I broke down on the sixteenth of January , up until then I can ' t remember anything that happened in January , I would go to work sit at my desk and stare , people would come in and ask we questions I would just shrug my shoulders , my phone would ring be it a friend or work related and I would just stare at it and leave it to carry on ringing . I would not want to talk to anyone or be around anyone , If I saw someone walking in my direction I would find another way to walk to avoid them . I constantly wanted to sleep and had no energy to do anything . My best friend did not hear from me for two weeks and we spoke daily usually . I even had to check texts the morning after I had seen my girlfriend to convince myself I had seen her . It felt like everything was going on around me and I was not there My girlfriend and I had been talking about getting engaged and had even looked at engagement rings the weekend I broke down , we were also talking about holiday destinations for the coming year , and about moving into together when her lease run out on her apartment in April . She had even spoke to her family who she was very close to about the possibility of us starting our own family . Back in November she was made redundant from her job as a beauty therapist , but within a short period of time had found herself another job in the same industry , but it would require her to work every other weekend . We certainly did not live in each others pockets , I would see her on a Wednesday evening , Friday evening and Saturday ( When I stayed both nights ) and then Sunday . Deep down I knew her working weekends would take a strain on our relationship because that was the only time I really saw her . I never wanted her to stop her working but In January started looking for alternative employment options . My salary for my job is good , but the only concern I had was would I be able to give her the security of taking them both on in our own home , as she would have to come off benefits etc , and this played on my mind alot and I wish I had spoken to her about my concerns instead of trying to deal with it myself . I have always been an anxious person or always worries about everything and what people think about me and I hate letting people down . She always text me telling me she loved me , and I thought we had a really close relationship . So when she ended it a week after my breakdown I was absolutely devastated it was completely unexpected , and I really don ' t know how to deal with it all . I can ' t sleep , I am twitching alot , and constantly have panic attacks . Although I have been in other long term relationships ( three years plus ) I never new what true love was until I met her : Is it true that actions speak louder than words ... And everything she wrote in texts and Christmas cards saying I love you was not what she really mean ' t ? Why would you finish with your boyfriend after he has had a nervous breakdown ? Should I blame myself for us splitting us because of my illness , I feel as if she fell out of love with me because the person she met eleven months ago had changed , but I was not aware of it because I was depressed ? Having the nervous breakdown was a very scary experience , I would not wish it on anyone but until you reach that low and finally crack no one can appreciate what a horrible experience it is , I wish she would agree to come to some councilling sessions with me , surely if she really loved me she would help me through this instead of abandoning me , she wont even talking to me on the phone or via text . The fact my relationship ended has affected me more than my breakdown and does not help when your trying to get your head round your breakdown . It is only now since my breakdown have I been able to openly about my experience because until then I did not know what was going on . Any thoughts or words of advice would be appreciated . J 0 * Share this post Link to post https://w.depressi Share on other sites * * * * * * * * [ INS : : INS ] Rosegirl 897 Rosegirl Rosegirl 897 * Community Assistant * * Rosegirl * Platinum Member * 897 * 3,076 posts * Gender : Female * Location : Some place on the Earth * Posted January 27 , 2012 (( RedHeaven )) , to have a nervous break down is very scary . It gladdens my heart to hear that family and friends support you . I feel sorry about hearing that your girlfriend left you in the moment in your life when you were most vulnerable . Nobody can know why she left you . It can be that she is not strong enough to cope with a break down . She can have been scared . It might have reminded her about things in herself that she is scared about . She might have found out that her love for you wasn ' t real enough . It ' s always troublesome to be left by the one one loves . : console : Please don ' t blame yourself . I know it must sound weird , but if she is not so much in love with you as she thought , the day will come when you will be glad that you are free too chose another one . For now you have to do the grieving work ( to mourn ) . That can be rough ! If I were you I would have found myself a therapist . Then you can get professional help to look at you nervous breakdown and get help to mourn . I send my very best wishes for you ! RG 1 * Share this post Link to post https://w.depressi Share on other sites * * * * * * * * jimbow15 531 jimbow15 jimbow15 531 * Platinum Member * * jimbow15 * Platinum Member * 531 * 9,259 posts * Gender : Male * Location : UK and Ireland * * Posted January 27 , 2012 Hi RedHeaven1978 , Sorry to hear about your recent mental health problem and the break up of your relationship ? Have you been formally diagnosed with Depression and are you getting support or medication to overcome this ? It would be impossible for anyone to say why your girlfriend broke up with you , but it may well be related to your illness . You really need to talk to her if you can and see what she has to say . It does sound like you were both somewhat committed to the relationship earlier ? If you can try to get some time out from work to allow yourself to get better and deal with your mental health needs . It must be very difficult trying to manage a full tome job , a recent break up and your mental hralth problems . I do hope you have a speedy recovery . If you can ask you girlfriend about the state of the relationship . is it finished ? or any possibiliry of a future . In the meantime see your Doctor and make sure you are getting some support for yourself , perhaps counselling or CBT . Best Wishes Jim Bow 0 * Share this post Link to post https://w.depressi Share on other sites * * * * * * * * Bluebess 0 Bluebess Bluebess 0 * Newbie * * Bluebess * Just Registered * 0 * 2 posts * Gender : Female * Location : UK * Posted February 3 , 2012 This is my first post on here , I ' ve not had the guts to write before . I read your story and feel for you . I split with my partner of ten years in august , after finally realising I wanted something better for myself . I had no idea at the time I was unhappy because of emotional abuse , now I do . I had a break down at the end of dec . I ' m still signed off work and am struggling to function . It is frightening , I feel like my brain is broken . I releved to see you have no memory of recent events as this is something I have found too . My ex has been difficult in general , totally emotionally disconnected to me and what has happened . I have to talk to him because of the sale of our house . He has also been seeing one of my friends since we split , which feels like torture . I would say try and talk to her , give it a go . But if I ' ve learnt one thing from this pit that I ' m in it ' s that people are different . I think I have an expectation that everyone is like me . Not everyone has the ability to empathise , be honest , care and talk about emotions . To hear the words " I don ' t love you " would * anyone in love , but in the situation you are in you need help and support . I have heard this myself . I know the pain of thinking you would marry and have a family with this person , this is it . Until you discover its not , and are filled with guilt . I really hope I can get through this , at the moment I can ' t cope with what ' s in my head and the raw emotions . I wish you luck and hope . I feel heartbroken . Like I am dust . 0 * Share this post Link to post https://w.depressi Share on other sites * * * * * * * * mea 5 mea mea 5 * Junior Member * * mea * Junior Member * 5 * 58 posts * Gender : Female * Location : USA * Posted February 4 , 2012 Sorry to hear of your breakdown and the breakup with your girlfriend . Use all the resources you can during this trying time . The support of your family and friends . Seek professional help from a therapist and medical support from your doctor . You might want to try meds for awhile to get you thru this . 0 * Share this post Link to post https://w.depressi Share on other sites * * * * * * * * Create an account or sign in to comment You need to be a member in order to leave a comment Create an account Sign up for a new account in our community . It ' s easy ! Register a new account Sign in Already have an account ? Sign in here . 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