#alternate alternate alternate alternate alternate alternate alternate alternate alternate alternate alternate IFRAME: //www.googletagmanager.com/ns.html?id=GTM-NW5PKS (BUTTON) Psychology Today * Find a Therapist Find a Therapist Therapists https://www.psycholo (BUTTON) v + Therapists + Treatment Centers + Psychiatrists + Support Groups (BUTTON) x _________________________ (Search) Therapists: Log In | Sign Up * Get Help Mental Health + Addiction + ADHD + Anxiety + Asperger's + Autism + Bipolar Disorder + Chronic Pain + Depression + Eating Disorders Personality + Passive Aggression + Personality + Shyness Personal Growth + Goal Setting + Happiness + Positive Psychology + Stopping Smoking Relationships + Low Sexual Desire + Relationships + Sex Family Life + Child Development + Parenting View Help Index Do I Need Help? + Self Tests Recently Diagnosed? + Diagnosis Dictionary + Types of Therapy Talk to Someone + Find a Therapist + Find a Treatment Center + Find a Psychiatrist + Find a Support Group * Magazine Current The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when you’ve gone too far—or when someone else has ulterior motives? Subscribe Recent + + + + Issue Archive * Today News + Is Altruism an Analgesic? + Is Attachment Insecurity Putting Your Sexual Health at Risk? + Daughters-in-Law and Mothers-in-Law: Boundary Ambiguity + Bigger Brains and Higher Peak Oxygen Uptake Go Hand in Hand Essential Reads + Six Varieties of Sexual Disgust + Out-of-Context Biases All Have One Solution + Our Hands Hold Weapons That Our Minds Can’t Comprehend + How Open Conflict Benefits Relationships Trending Topics + Narcissism + Alzheimer's + Bias + Affective Forecasting + Neuroscience + Behavioral Economics + See All US Search Search _______________ Submit Back Psychology Today * Home * Find a Therapist * Get Help * Magazine * Today Back Find a Therapist Get Help * + Find a Therapist + Find a Treatment Center + Find a Psychiatrist + Find a Support Group * Members + Login + Sign Up * Back Get Help Mental Health * + Addiction + ADHD + Anxiety + Asperger's + Autism + Bipolar Disorder + Chronic Pain + Depression + Eating Disorders Personality + Passive Aggression + Personality + Shyness Personal Growth + Goal Setting + Happiness + Positive Psychology + Stopping Smoking Relationships + Low Sexual Desire + Relationships + Sex Family Life + Child Development + Parenting View Help Index + Do I Need Help? + Self Tests Recently Diagnosed? + Diagnosis Dictionary + Types of Therapy Talk to Someone + Find a Therapist + Find a Treatment Center + Find a Psychiatrist + Find a Support Group Back Magazine The Power of Boundaries Sharing personal information brings people closer together. But how do you know when you’ve gone too far—or when someone else has ulterior motives? Subscribe Issue Archive Back Today News * + Is Altruism an Analgesic? + Is Attachment Insecurity Putting Your Sexual Health at Risk? + Daughters-in-Law and Mothers-in-Law: Boundary Ambiguity + Bigger Brains and Higher Peak Oxygen Uptake Go Hand in Hand * Essential Reads + Six Varieties of Sexual Disgust + Out-of-Context Biases All Have One Solution + Our Hands Hold Weapons That Our Minds Can’t Comprehend + How Open Conflict Benefits Relationships * Trending Topics + Narcissism + Alzheimer's + Bias + Affective Forecasting + Neuroscience + Behavioral Economics + See All ____________________ (Search) Go [icon-check-circle-gray.svg] Verified by Psychology Today Shahram Heshmat Ph.D. Science of Choice Basics of Identity What do we mean by identity and why does identity matter? Posted Dec 08, 2014 * [icon-share-round-facebook-md.svg] SHARE * [icon-share-round-twitter-md.svg] TWEET * [icon-share-round-email-md.svg] EMAIL * [icon-share-chat-md.svg] 2COMMENTS Identity is largely concerned largely with the question: “Who are you?” What does it mean to be who you are? Identity relates to our basic values that dictate the choices we make (e.g., relationships, career). These choices reflect who we are and what we value. For example, we can assume that the investment banker values money, while the college professor values education and helping students. However, few people choose their identities. Instead, they simply internalize the values of their parents or the dominant cultures (e.g., the pursuit of materialism, power, and appearance). Sadly, these values may not be aligned with one’s authentic self and create an unfulfilling life. In contrast, fulfilled people are able to live a life true to their values and pursue meaningful goals. Lack of a coherent sense of identity will lead to uncertainty about what one wants to do in life. A person may hold multiple identities such as a teacher, father, or friend. Each position has its own meanings and expectations that are internalized as identity. A major task of self-development during early adolescence is the differentiation of multiple selves as a function of social context (e.g., self with father, mother, close friends) with an awareness of the potential contradictions. I noticed this with my own 16-year-old daughter. While she was happy with her friends, she seemed to be depressed around me, or she would switch from being cheerful around her friends to being nasty with her mother. I wondered, and I believe she did as well, which one is the real her? However, as young people mature cognitively, they achieve a sense of coherence in their identity. Identity may be acquired indirectly from parents, peers, and other role models. Children come to define themselves in terms of how they think their parents see them. If their parents see them as worthless, they will come to define themselves as worthless. People who perceive themselves as likable may remember more positive than negative statements. Psychologists assume that identity formation is a matter of “finding oneself” by matching one’s talents and potential with available social roles. Thus, defining oneself within a social world is among one of the most difficult choices a person ever makes. In the face of identity struggle, many end up adopting darker identities, such as drug abuse, compulsive shopping, or gambling, as a compensatory method of experiencing aliveness or staving off depression and meaninglessness. What constitute the true self? The ultimate goal for individuals is to develop and nurture those choices that are consistent with their true self. To deny the true self is to deny the best within us. To find more happiness in life means to live in harmony with one’s true self. Three goals are required for the task of identity formation. The first task is discovering and developing one’s personal potentials. Personal potentials refer to those things that the person can do better than other things. How can the person discover what those potentials are? The answer is a process of trial-and-error. This requires exposure to a wide array of activities, some of which we become able to do relatively well. This is recognized by the feedback we receive from others and our own positive feelings about those activities. These activities simply “feel right” to us, and these feelings are useful clues. We are intrinsically motivated to do these activities. However, the development of skills and talent requires time, effort, and willingness to tolerate frustration when we encounter obstacles. The second step is choosing one’s purpose in life. It is necessary to choose what we are seeking to accomplish in our lives. To achieve substantial success in fulfilling our purpose, the objectives must be compatible with our talent and skills (our authentic self). To choose a purpose not compatible with our capabilities is a recipe for frustration and failure. Finally, one is required to find opportunities to implement that potential and purpose. Open societies allow for role mobility and flexibility to implement identity-related choices. However, this is not the case in close and rigid societies. For some, this may lead to emigration. Identity is never “final” and continues to develop through the lifespan. Knowing one’s identity accurately increases self-esteem and reduces depression and anxiety. When people are doing what they think they should be doing, they are happy. When people misrepresent themselves or present themselves in out-of-character ways to impress an audience, the behavior is unnatural and exhausting. The behavior requires greater cognitive resources, because the mind is filled with self-doubt, self-consciousness, and negative thoughts. Moreover, when people look to immediate audiences to help them define who they should be, how they should look, and what they should do, they are in danger of acting in ways that endanger their health, such as eating disorders and alcohol or drug abuse. For example, eating disorders are due in part to concerns about body appearance. Alcohol and drug use are related to peer pressure and acceptance. * [icon-share-round-facebook-lg.svg] SHARE * [icon-share-round-twitter-lg.svg] TWEET * [icon-share-round-email-lg.svg] EMAIL * 2COMMENTS smart Submitted by Gage on November 7, 2018 - 10:17am when i read this i got of of it that he is smart * Reply to Gage * Quote Gage Purpose is not fundamental to identity formation, and vice-versa Submitted by Jason Emmons on February 5, 2019 - 5:42pm Across all cultures, people on their death beds are less concerned about "who am I?" or "did I achieve my purpose?" than about "what story did I tell with my life?". Identity formation is nothing more than seeing yourself as a character in the novel that is society. This character can be well-rounded, one-dimensional, focused on a goal, or completely careless of their own fate - it doesn't matter. The 'identity' and 'purpose' aspects are not important. What's important is playing a part in your story. You don't even need to be the protagonist - you didn't even need to know who the protagonist is. Did the story get somewhere? Did it teach a lesson? Was it entertaining? Does it beg a sequel, even if the next book in the series has none of the same characters? Your identity is a figment of your imagination. Your purpose is to reach a horizon that by definition cannot be reached. Life is more complex than ever, and it brings us ease to channel our confusion into identity crises or depression, but these haven't always existed - and certainly not to the extent they exist in society today. Long articles like this are enlightening, absolutely. But they aren't helping. The author mentions "wanting to impress an audience" and elaborates how this can go wrong. I find this incredibly misleading. The audience is in your head. Even if you're constantly switching roles, plays, and theaters, you will find your identity and your purpose naturally in making them laugh, cry, and applaud. * Reply to Jason Emmons * Quote Jason Emmons Post Comment Your name ______________________________ E-mail The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. ______________________________ Subject ____________________________________________________________ Comment * ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ [X] Notify me when new comments are posted (*) All comments ( ) Replies to my comment Leave this field blank ____________________ Post advertisement About the Author Shahram Heshmat, Ph.D., is an associate professor emeritus of health economics of addiction at the University of Illinois at Springfield. In Print: Addiction: A Behavioral Economic Perspective Online: LinkedIn Read Next 9 Key Principles of Learning a New Skill Want to Think Creatively? 5 Key Ideas About Identity Theory Can We Choose Our Identity? In the New Year, Scratch "Purpose" and Follow Your Desires Do You Have Style? Take the Test! Life: Horse Race, Rat Race, or Amazing Adventure? Finding Yourself in the New Tribalism advertisement Most Popular * Six Varieties of Sexual Disgust * Our Hands Hold Weapons That Our Minds Can’t Comprehend * Kindergarten Teachers Are Quitting, and Here Is Why * 8 Surprising Psychological Facts About Vegetarians * Why Older Women (Cougars) Seek Sex With Younger Men (Cubs) Jolt Your Job Hunt What Careers Match Your Core Skill? 6 Rules to Get Your Career on Track Career Changers: Make the Job Market Care Job Hunting Tips for People with Anxiety advertisement Find a Therapist Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. ____________________ Search Cities: * Atlanta, GA * Austin, TX * Baltimore, MD * Boston, MA * Brooklyn, NY * Charlotte, NC * Chicago, IL * Columbus, OH * Dallas, TX * Denver, CO * Detroit, MI * Houston, TX * Indianapolis, IN * Jacksonville, FL * Las Vegas, NV * Los Angeles, CA * Louisville, KY * Memphis, TN * Miami, FL * Milwaukee, WI * Minneapolis, MN * Nashville, TN * New York, NY * Oakland, CA * Omaha, NE * Philadelphia, PA * Phoenix, AZ * Pittsburgh, PA * Portland, OR * Raleigh, NC * Sacramento, CA * Saint Louis, MO * San Antonio, TX * San Diego, CA * San Francisco, CA * San Jose, CA * Seattle, WA * Tucson, AZ * Washington, DC Are you a Therapist? Get Listed Today Psychology Today Facebook Twitter Instagram Recent Issues * * * * * * Subscribe Today! * About * Privacy * Terms United States Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC