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(BUTTON) Search with google * become a supporter * subscribe * Sign in/up * (BUTTON) my account + Comment activity + Edit profile + Email preferences + Change password + Sign out * (BUTTON) International edition + switch to the UK edition + switch to the US edition + switch to the Australia edition * jobs * dating * holidays * the guardian app * video * podcasts * pictures * newsletters * today's paper * the observer * digital archive * crosswords * Facebook * Twitter * jobs * dating * holidays * UK * UK politics * education * media * society * law * scotland * wales * northern ireland (BUTTON) more sign in * Comment activity * Edit profile * Email preferences * Change password * Sign out become a supporter subscribe search find a job dating more from the guardian: * dating * find a job change edition: * switch to the UK edition switch to the US edition switch to the AU edition International edition * switch to the UK edition * switch to the US edition * switch to the Australia edition The Guardian - Back to home * home * › UK * › society * law * scotland * wales * northern ireland * education * media * home * UK selected * world * sport * football * opinion * culture * business * lifestyle * fashion * environment * tech * travel browse all sections close Older people What I'm really thinking What I’m really thinking: the new resident in a retirement home A friend asked, ‘What do you like most about living here?’ I thought long and hard. ‘I can’t think of anything’ Illustration by Lo Cole [ ] ‘I have been invited to join the bingo group and the crochet circle.’ Illustration: Lo Cole for the Guardian Older people What I'm really thinking What I’m really thinking: the new resident in a retirement home A friend asked, ‘What do you like most about living here?’ I thought long and hard. ‘I can’t think of anything’ Anonymous Sat 25 Nov ‘17 08.59 GMT Last modified on Fri 1 Dec ‘17 14.03 GMT * Share on Facebook * Share on Twitter * Share via Email * (BUTTON) View more sharing options * Share on LinkedIn * Share on Pinterest * Share on Google+ * Share on WhatsApp * Share on Messenger * (BUTTON) Close Why am I here? This is awful. What’s happened to me? I don’t like it. Why did I have to leave my little old cottage and beautiful garden, and the neighbours who were real friends? I was so happy there, and now I’m in a flat in an ugly modern building that calls itself a retirement home. Friends visit and say, “It’s so clean and warm! And it’s all on the level!” Well, my house was warm (in parts) and cleanish. And I loved walking up and down in my hilly town. There are a lot of other women here, and a handful of men. Every day in the entrance hall there is a pile of newspapers ordered by residents. I saw that most of them were the Daily Mail and I shuddered. One fellow resident, smiling kindly, said to me, “Everyone here dresses so nicely.” I looked down at my trousers and well-worn, comfortable cardigan, and thought, “Oh God, I haven’t even got a single dress!” I have been invited to join the bingo group and the crochet circle. In both cases, I declined – graciously, I hope. But then, the worst moment: someone publicly expressed her outrage at the way we are being invaded by refugees. My hackles rose immediately, but feebly I let them fall again. It required too much courage, just then, to give vent to my own passionate and contrary feelings on this subject. But the time will come. What I’m really thinking: the older man offered a seat on the bus Read more Another friend, visiting, asked “What do you like most about living here?” I thought long and hard, and then answered truthfully: “I can’t think of anything at all.” Later, I realised that my scattered children won’t need to worry so much now. I am safe and warm and clean.It can’t be that bad, can it? • Tell us what you’re really thinking – email mind@theguardian.com Topics * Older people * What I'm really thinking * features * Share on Facebook * Share on Twitter * Share via Email * Share on LinkedIn * Share on Pinterest * Share on Google+ * Share on WhatsApp * Share on Messenger * Reuse this content View all comments > (BUTTON) Order by * (BUTTON) newest * (BUTTON) oldest * (BUTTON) recommendations (BUTTON) Show 25 * (BUTTON) 25 * (BUTTON) 50 * (BUTTON) 100 * (BUTTON) All (BUTTON) Threads * (BUTTON) collapsed * (BUTTON) expanded * (BUTTON) unthreaded Loading comments… Trouble loading? (BUTTON) View more comments more on this story * £1bn funding shortfall may force UK care homes to close, says watchdog Fees paid by cash-strapped councils fail to meet costs of caring for residents, according to Competition and Markets Authority Published: 30 Nov 2017 £1bn funding shortfall may force UK care homes to close, says watchdog * What being a care worker taught me: the human spirit needs more than the basics Sarah Beauclerk Society should stop shunning the concept and reality of ageing, says community care worker Sarah Beauclerk Published: 23 Nov 2017 What being a care worker taught me: the human spirit needs more than the basics * Comedy in a care home: the standups taking slapstick into new territory The residents were expecting bingo. Instead they got lessons in strawberry spitting, a Railway Children spoof – and a stuntman stripping to his underpants Published: 21 Nov 2017 Comedy in a care home: the standups taking slapstick into new territory * Older people face paying £34,000 a year to go into a care home With the average price of residential care increasing at its fastest rate ever in 2016, we face a ‘prolonged crisis’ in provision Published: 18 Nov 2017 Older people face paying £34,000 a year to go into a care home * + Social care funding can't take any more setbacks. It needs reform now Jane Ashcroft Published: 2 Nov 2017 Social care funding can't take any more setbacks. It needs reform now + Reports of poor standards in aged care are just the tip of the iceberg Sarah Russell Published: 31 Oct 2017 Reports of poor standards in aged care are just the tip of the iceberg + Care homes could become most common place to die by 2040 Published: 11 Oct 2017 Care homes could become most common place to die by 2040 + Care homes charging for rooms after residents die, watchdog finds Published: 17 Apr 2017 Care homes charging for rooms after residents die, watchdog finds (BUTTON) More more on this story most viewed The Guardian back to top * home * UK selected * world * sport * football * opinion * culture * business * lifestyle * fashion * environment * tech * travel all sections close * home * UK selected + education + media + society selected + law + scotland + wales + northern ireland * world + europe + US + americas + asia + australia + africa + middle east + cities + development * sport + football + cricket + rugby union + F1 + tennis + golf + cycling + boxing + racing + rugby league * football + live scores + tables + competitions + results + fixtures + clubs * opinion + columnists + letters + editorials * culture + film + tv & radio + music + games + books + art & design + stage + classical * business + economics + banking + retail + markets + project syndicate * lifestyle + food + recipes + health & fitness + love & sex + family + women + home & garden * fashion * environment + climate change + wildlife + energy + pollution * tech * travel + UK + europe + US * money + property + savings + pensions + borrowing + careers * science * professional networks * the observer * today's paper + obituaries + g2 + weekend + the guide + saturday review * sunday's paper + comment + the new review + observer magazine * membership * crosswords + blog + editor + quick + cryptic + prize + quiptic + genius + speedy + everyman + azed + weekend * video + podcasts * digital archive * UK News * › Society * › Older people * UK * UK politics * education * media * society * law * scotland * wales * northern ireland back to top IFRAME: /email/form/footer/37 * become a supporter * make a contribution * securedrop * ask for help * advertise with us * work for us * contact us * complaints & corrections * terms & conditions * privacy policy * cookie policy * digital newspaper archive * all topics * all contributors * Facebook * Twitter © 2017 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. 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