#publisher alternate (BUTTON) Close Skip to main content sign in * Comment activity * Edit profile * Email preferences * Change password * Sign out become a supporter subscribe search jobs dating more from the guardian: * dating * jobs change edition: * switch to the UK edition switch to the US edition switch to the AU edition International * switch to the UK edition * switch to the US edition * switch to the Australia edition The Guardian * home * home * UK * world * sport * football * opinion * culture * business * lifestyle * fashion * environment * tech * travel browse all sections close Teacher Network There's nothing creative or individual about robotic entrance exams David Baddiel David Baddiel With open day season in full swing, many parents will hear about how schools produce well-rounded students. But their box-ticking tests tell a different story Merry go round David Baddiel talks about his merry-go-round experience of choosing secondary schools for his children. Photograph: Alamy Wednesday 30 September 2015 17.51 BST Last modified on Thursday 1 October 2015 11.41 BST * Share on Facebook * Share on Twitter * Share via Email * (BUTTON) View more sharing options * Share on LinkedIn * Share on Pinterest * Share on Google+ * Share on WhatsApp * Share on Messenger * * (BUTTON) Close Along with falling leaves and Indian summers, another marker of the British autumn is the sight of harassed-looking parents pulling year 6 children along on a merry-go-round of secondary school open days. These can be exhausting, although you do get a cup of tea and a biscuit at the end. At the private schools, you sometimes get posh sandwiches and teacakes. At selective schools, both state and private, one thing you will always get is a speech from the headteacher about how, although results are important to them – just look at the league table results, the Ofsted report and so on – the school’s ethos is, for want of a better word, holistic. It’s not just about producing the best grades, but well-rounded individuals and fully-realised human beings. There is a problem, however, with the process by which these schools attempt to achieve this. In fact, the entrance criteria used by selective schools are anything but conducive to the creation of well-rounded individuals. Fair admissions: how can we secure balanced intakes in secondary schools? Read more Go and have a look at a verbal or non-verbal reasoning paper online (if you haven’t already had the pleasure). You’ll be confronted by a series of strange shapes and hieroglyphs, with instructions like “find the figure most like the first three” or “identify the vertical code in this pattern”. They look like tests the secret services would have used to root out potential code-breakers for the Enigma programme. Or something developed in Stanford in the 1950s to pit robot brains against human. A few years ago – lured by amazing results and the headmaster’s inspirational speech about the emphasis on identity, creativity and non-academic achievement – we put our daughter in for the entrance exam at a local state selective girls’ school. It ruined her summer that year, as she spent most of her holiday with her nose stuck to the verbal and non-verbal reasoning grindstone when she should have been out enjoying herself. She did, eventually, get her head around answering those dry, brain-twisting questions – because it’s a cognitive trick, that you have to learn how to do – and she seemed fairly confident. But she came out of the actual exam in tears. The atmosphere in the room had been so pressurised and so stiflingly competitive that she’d cracked up and not finished her paper. It made me feel terrible about having put her through that tortuous, soul-crushing process in the first place. We know, and have known for years of course, that these exams are a gift to those parents who can afford to tutor their kids to become specialists at passing them, thus completely upending the whole point of state selective schools, which are supposed to create a level playing field for bright children from less-privileged backgrounds. Schools must consider double shifting to accommodate growing pupil numbers Read more But the tests are also about as far as they could be from encouraging the individuality and original thinking these institutions say they foster. Some schools make a point of detailing the emphasis they place on interviewing potential pupils to find out more about them as people. But without fail, each child still has to get to a certain level in the terrible tests to be interviewed. I’m told some selective schools are changing. The Consortium of Selective Schools in Essex has scrapped the verbal reasoning paper and replaced it with an exam more in line with the national curriculum. But most of them still stick with the box-ticking tests they’ve been using for years. And none of them have found a way of establishing entrance criteria that might evaluate and appreciate, say, idiosyncrasy or lateral thinking or wit or emotional intelligence. All the things that do, in fact, go into making fully-realised human beings. Our daughter eventually went to a non-selective state elsewhere, where she is very, very happy and doing extremely well. Now we’re looking for a secondary school for our son, and taking him around those exhausting open days. Wherever he goes, though, we won’t be ruining his last summer holiday as a primary school child. David’s latest book, The Person Controller, will be available on 8 October 2015 and can be pre-ordered now. Follow us on Twitter via @GuardianTeach. Join the Guardian Teacher Networkfor lesson resources, comment and job opportunities, direct to your inbox __________________________________________________________________ More comment Topics * Schools * Secondary schools * Primary schools * Private schools * Teaching * Exams __________________________________________________________________ * Share on Facebook * Share on Twitter * Share via Email * Share on LinkedIn * Share on Pinterest * Share on Google+ * Share on WhatsApp * Share on Messenger * * (BUTTON) Close * Reuse this content View all comments > (BUTTON) Order by * (BUTTON) newest * (BUTTON) oldest * (BUTTON) recommendations (BUTTON) Show 25 * (BUTTON) 25 * (BUTTON) 50 * (BUTTON) 100 * (BUTTON) All (BUTTON) Threads * (BUTTON) collapsed * (BUTTON) expanded * (BUTTON) unthreaded Loading comments… Trouble loading? (BUTTON) View more comments most viewed The Guardian back to top * home * UK * world * sport * football * opinion * culture * business * lifestyle * fashion * environment * tech * travel all sections close * home * UK + education + media + society + law + scotland + wales + northern ireland * world + europe + US + americas + asia + australia + africa + middle east + cities + development * sport + football + cricket + rugby union + F1 + tennis + golf + cycling + boxing + racing + rugby league * football + live scores + tables + competitions + results + fixtures + clubs * opinion + columnists * culture + film + tv & radio + music + games + books + art & design + stage + classical * business + economics + banking + retail + markets + eurozone * lifestyle + food + health & fitness + love & sex + family + women + home & garden * fashion * environment + climate change + wildlife + energy + pollution * tech * travel + UK + europe + US + skiing * money + property + savings + pensions + borrowing + careers * science * professional networks * the observer * today's paper + editorials & letters + obituaries + g2 + weekend + the guide + saturday review * sunday's paper + comment + the new review + observer magazine * membership * crosswords + blog + editor + quick + cryptic + prize + quiptic + genius + speedy + everyman + azed * video * Teacher Network * › Schools IFRAME: /email/form/footer/37 * Facebook * Twitter * Facebook * Twitter * all topics * all contributors * solve technical issue * complaints & corrections * terms & conditions * privacy policy * cookie policy * securedrop © 2016 Guardian News and Media Limited or its affiliated companies. All rights reserved. [p?c1=2&c2=6035250&cv=2.0&cj=1]