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 Wedding photographers reveal the moment they realised the marriage was doomed

   Posted Friday 21 October 2016 15:30 by Harriet Marsden in offbeat

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   istock-68340659-xxxlarge-1.jpg

   Picture: istock / mofles istock / mofles

   A woman on Reddit put out a call for wedding photographers to share
   their thoughts about the couples they photograph - and the moment they
   realised they might not last the distance.

   indy100 has compiled their stories and compiled them into a handy
   guide: What You Want To Avoid At Your Wedding (In Order to Avoid
   Divorce), According to the Photographers™.

Death staring your spouse

   Calliope720 posted this picture of her mum's wedding:

     My mom's thousand-yard stare at my parents' wedding. I don't want to
     know what my dad just said to her.


   SwissJAmes: "Sudden Clarity Bride"

Focusing on the wedding, rather than the marriage

   SuccessiveApprox: "My photography business partner and I talk about
   this a lot. We spend 8, 10, 12 or more hours in a day looking at the
   bride and groom through a frame that isolates them alone and together,
   largely stripping away the broader context and focusing on their
   interactions. We are looking specifically for moments of contact, of
   intimacy, of emotional connection. It pretty quickly becomes evident
   when those things are there, and when they are not.

   "We also spend a lot of time listening to the language they use in
   pre-meetings, engagement shoots, on the wedding day, etc. It becomes
   pretty clear in a short time what the focus is. Many couples,
   particularly young couples, pretty clearly have in mind a wedding but
   have put little thought and planning into a marriage. The difference we
   see between a young couple and an older/second marriage couple is
   pretty significant."

     There are many other little things (like once when there was more
     sexual tension between the groom and the best man than between the
     groom and the bride) that factor in, but those are the main things
     that jump out.

   That's not good, obviously.

Being undecided about children

   BigIdeaPhotoVideo: "We do wedding videography, and last year we shot
   the wedding for a couple that were together for a few years prior to
   it, and had a kid together. They honestly seemed like they would truly
   last. Just 2 weeks ago, my partner, who is friends with the groom on
   Facebook, told me they are getting a divorce. Truly saw no signs. Only
   thing i can think of is he didnt give her another baby which she
   claimed she wanted in the video."

     Told my partner though we need to offer up divorce videos in the
     package for half price.

   Legitimate business idea.

Showing zero affection

   CoLmes: "My very first wedding was a couple who was getting married by
   the art museum in Philly. I had my friend whose been a wedding
   photographer for ten years with me to show me the ropes after doing a
   lot of second shooting with him. So he poses a kissing shot of the
   couple, and when he asks them to kiss the bride goes “oh, no, no thank
   you” in this weird little mousey voice."

     He has shot over a 100 weddings and said he never saw a couple so
     not into each other as much as they were.

   "The whole thing was weird. The groom didn't even bother to properly
   make himself look presentable on his wedding day, it was literally the
   first time both sides of the family met that day."

   photographerrob: "Usually during the romantic pictured they have no
   obvious signs of affection to each other. Perhaps this is just the
   couples I work with but when we tell them to kiss and hold hands and be
   affectionate, the couples that have no problem being close usually
   last. There are so that are very timid and almost afraid the other
   partner is going to bite their head off. Those are the couples that
   won't last."

Offering yourself to the wedding photographer (if you are the bride)

   deweysizemore: "When I first got started I assisted for a photographer
   who was a good lookin fella. During the reception the bride told him
   they were going to have an open marriage and basically offered herself
   up to him, which he politely declined. Not sure how their marriage has
   turned out..."

Flirting with all the guests (if you are the groom)

   Clover1492: "The groom, as far as I could tell was just naturally
   flirtatious with women. 20 years old, 80 years old, didn't matter, he
   was a shameless flirt who had women blushing and probably dreaming
   about the honeymoon all night.

   "The bride wound up crying at the bar, apparently she assumed that once
   the groom said 'I Do', his personality would magically transform, and
   he'd never look at another woman again.

   "Turns out, harmlessly flirting with bridesmaids and their grandmothers
   wasn't what she needed to worry about, since the groom was equally as
   flirtatious with his best man (who was openly gay).

     The marriage lasted less than 6 months, until according to rumour
     the bride discovered her new groom flagrante delicto with the best
     man. Last I heard, now that gay marriage has been approved here,
     those two are planning a wedding of their own.

Being on your phone at the crucial moment

   directinLA: "Don't know if they are still together, but one groom was
   on his phone while walking down the aisle. And he was in jeans. She
   wasn't the happiest (sadly I did not get any of her reaction shots)."

   There is a time and a place for CandyCrush. Bride walking down the
   aisle? Not it.

Acting like a "jerk in general"

   Eatcheeseordie: "I also wonder about the brides  grooms who make
   snarky remarks during the day. Like, if I only know you for eight
   hours, but I know you're upset your new spouse didn't let you plan any
   of the wedding, then I'm not sure you have your priorities straight."

     And I wonder about their relationships when they're just jerks in
     general. Did you make your groomsmen all get different suits the day
     before the wedding? Did you spend the morning making misogynist
     comments to your photographer? You're probably difficult to be in a
     relationship with.

   Jazz4: "Also done a lot of wedding work in the past. I also got that
   feeling of 'how on earth are you two together'. He/she is an absolute
   ass and I've only met you for a few hours."

Being kind of dead inside

   hopopo: "I was a second shooter at the high profile wedding. Both bride
   and groom are lawyers and absolutely emotionally dead. They looked like
   business partners. Strangest thing of all was that at the end of the
   ceremony there was no kiss or exchange of rings. Her family member did
   ceremony and just skipped the whole thing. Whole ceremony lasted less
   than 5min."
     

   More: True experts have discovered how to keep sexual attraction alive
   in long term relationships

   More: The story behind Michelle Obama's beautiful final state dinner
   dress will impress you even more

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