herald

Sunday 17 January 2016

We really like you ... we just wouldn't give you the satisfaction

"I wouldn't give her the satisfaction." There's no doubt that somewhere in Dublin this week, someone who spotted Eva Longoria, uttered those words.

It means, of course, acting with complete indifference towards her.

And there's also little doubt that someone was up in her face telling her how "ammmmmmaaaazing" she is and they "looooooooooovvve" her, while attempting to have the craic and take a selfie.

It's our uniquely Irish take on celebrities who come here.

approval

Because we're mostly used to z-elebrities and don't have any real A-listers - bar Bono - we either seek their A-listers approval like a toddler or act like they don't exist.

Or rip the utter Michael out of them.

When Kimye was honeymooning here this year, the entire country was inventing sightings.

Katie Durocher from E! News apparently planned a piece on how Kimye was spotted eating breakfast rolls in Centra, helped to take down election posters and wellie-shopped in Aldi.

All this after a tweeter posted: "Just saw Kim Kardashian in the Aldi in Grange looking through the running gear, a turnip and a pair of wellies in her hands."

One satirical website also reported that Kim became "posterially wedged" between two stalagmites in the Aillwee caves.

Mind you, had the couple flicked on Tonight with Vincent Browne, they would have been disabused of the notion that they are the most famous couple on the planet, with his attempts to pronounce their name.

"Gimme" were in Ireland, according to Vincent.

Conversely, the need for approval from celebs comes in several forms. If they're on the Late Late, they're asked what they think of the country.

Think about it. Have you ever heard any English presenter ask any Hollywood celeb what they think of London?

But we need to know that they have Irish ancestors and that they think we're great craic, altogether.

sound

We love an attempt at the obligatory cupla focail (go raibh maith agat, Obama and The Queen).

We beam when they tell us how much they just love Guinness, Barry's Tea and Taytos. (Eva, of course, obliged. Though it's hard to imagine that you look like that if you scoff crisps, porter and a full Irish).

Wear a county jersey, go to match or attempt a puck-out and we'll defend you forever as being 'sound out'.

See, we love celebs. Just as long as you're not too flashy. And you're sound.

Sound about letting us take photos and bothering you, when we feel like giving you the satisfaction.

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