Lots of big brass orbs were on display at last night’s Golden Globes, but Tina Fey and Amy Poehler showed the world that they have no cojones.

Caught up in a triple crisis, Hollywood had an opportunity to be as daring, socially on-point and irreverent as it constantly assures us it is. Instead of putting the world to rights, though, the show detonated with all the force of someone popping open a nice can of Fresca.

One of Hollywood’s half-dozen major studios was crippled by hackers and forced to bury its big Christmas release because of terrorism from (perhaps) North Korea. A double Golden Globe winner and beloved actor stands credibly accused of being a serial rapist. And just four days ago earlier, more than a dozen people died in an attack on comedy.

How did the Golden Globes respond to this cavalcade of dire news?

Hosts Fey and Poehler, instead of mercilessly satirizing North Korea, instead mocked one of the targets embarrassed in the Sony leak (Scott Rudin, who fairly inarguably was revealed to have termed his colleagues spoiled brats).

Then they sashayed directly up to Kim Jong Un, looked him straight in the eye and…said, “We got your back, bro.”

Fey and Poehler trashed the same thing the sawed-off dictator didn’t like, Seth Rogen’s “The Interview.” If they were on “At the Movies” with the stumpy dictator, the film would have gotten three thumbs down. Poehler said North Korea’s threat forced us all to “pretend we wanted to see it.” Then, Fey quoted North Korean criticism of “The Interview” — the NoKos denounced it as “absolutely intolerable” and “a wanton act of terror” — as a setup for saying, “That’s not even the worst review it got.”

Where did their jokes come from — the People’s Revolutionary Humor Committee of Pyongyang? They were the Manchurian hosts.

About the massacre of their fellow satirists in Paris, Fey and Poehler said nothing at all. People who, broadly speaking, are in the exact same line of work as Fey and Poehler were gunned down at the office for being “edgy” and “provocative” and “pushing the envelope” and all the other things American comedy writers fancy themselves while they’re wheeling out another Chris Christie fat joke.

Tiny and Amy were so shocked, outraged and appalled by the latest Islamofascist atrocity that they … cracked jokes about how it took them three hours to get dolled up.

And about Cosby, who now appears likely to have enjoyed a decades-long career as a drugger and rapist? They essayed their “black accents” and mocked Cos’ emphatic plosives. “I put the pills in the people!” Fey shouted.

If you’re going to make comedy out of a series of hideous crimes, it had better be a million miles away from making light of what seems to have happened. If you’re going to bring this up, be fearless and harsh.

Billy Bob Thornton summed up the evening perfectly when he opined, “You can say anything in the world and get in trouble. I know this for a fact. So I’m just going to say thank you.”

Points for honesty, Billy Bob. Just wave a white flag next time. Even the one guy who has dared to offend Globes stars in the past, Ricky Gervais, joked about how he wasn’t going to do it again, then…didn’t do it again.

George Clooney, who famously praised Hollywood’s alleged social-justice crusades when he won his “Syriana” Oscar in 2006, last night delivered only a milky reference to the weekend rallies in Paris, not the Islamist terror that inspired them. “We will not walk in fear. We will not do it,” Clooney said. “So…je suis Charlie.” Brutal, George. Give ’em hell. How brave is a man who can’t even mention the thing he’s afraid of? I don’t remember your failing to mention the CIA and oil companies in “Syriana.”

Never failing to volunteer for the front lines after the war is won, instead the room celebrated the transgender show “Transparent,” and star Jeffrey Tambor announced it was brave to be gay or transgender. Only to a point. When was the last time someone walked into a gay bar and gunned down a dozen people while crying, “Heteros forever”? Actually, if that were to happen, the perpetrators would be shouting “Allahu akbar.” And then, Hollywood would grit its teeth, clench its collective fists and do a really harsh, relentless satire — on Mormons, or Catholics, or maybe Wall Street.

Hey, Goldman Sachs inspires a lot of story angles, too, and besides, they probably won’t phrase their artistic differences in the form of an assassination squad.