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Could not subscribe, try again later Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe A mother in America has apparently decided to rewrite Harry Potter with a Christian message. Her story 'Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles' appeared on a fan fiction website around a month ago. According to the website the woman, who calls herself Grace Ann, said that her children asked to read Harry Potter but she didn't “want them to turn into witches!” so she decided to rewrite the series herself. The eight chapter piece fan fiction is almost so bad it's good. The story reads like a school project, and is brimming with needless adjectives and strange descriptions like, ‘I don't have a mommy or daddy,’ Harry replied sadly; and looked at his raggedy old shoes that were blue (sic). What has been changed? YOUTUBE Now known as Reverand Dumbledore. Where do we begin. Firstly, the whole story has been Americanised. The characters feast on biscuits and gravy! It's just not right. Hagrid has been switched from the half giant gamekeeper to some sort of cowboy hat wearing lumberjack pastor. The rest of the story is full of sections where wizardry and Christianity are swapped over, for instance the first chapter includes the line “you're a Christian Harry” and then descends in to an argument with the Dursley's over evolution, Hagrid laughed wisely. “Evolution is a fairytale. You don’t really believe that, do you?” “Yes, I do!” Aunt Petunia screeched. “Well then prove it!” Instead of spells and incantations the ‘wizards’ have prayers and Hagrid's motorbike has been scrapped in favour of praying (not actually dissimilar to apparating) Voldemort is a Congressman in the US government who apparently is trying to stop people from practicing their faith. Not quite as dangerous as trying to kill millions, but there we go. It has weirdly erotic descriptions of men in it For what is meant to be a story for kids, the description of Hagrid is strangely erotic, A huge muscular man, with a big manly beard...His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse brown hair. The description of Snape is similarly creepy, The dark hair on his pale chest was neatly trimmed but still noticeably thick. Not the way you would want to describe a teacher... But it's also very sexist towards women The whole story is riddled with problematic attitudes to women. Aunt Petunia has been changed from a housewife to an uppity Richard Dawkins reading “career woman” who wears a “baggy unflattering pantsuit”. Even worse is the fact that Reverend Dumbledore is married to Minerva (Professor Mcgonagall) who has been downgraded from Professor to the school cook! Sorry no education for you, women. Hermione has also been changed from Ron and Harry's intelligent school friend to Dumbledore's daughter. Poor Hermione :( Warner Bros Emma Watson, Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe in 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' This would not have happened in Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles The worst crime of all? Ron IS A SLYTHERIN and Snape has been made the head of Gryffindor house. WHAT. Is it satire? The whole story does seem too silly in places to be anything other than a parody. It sounds a bit too good to be true, and it will probably be debunked as satire by tomorrow. The website Religion News Service is hoping it is satire. According to their site the stereotypes presented in the piece do not seems to fit in with most modern Christian's attitudes. Although, even if it is satire, writing over 8400 words and keeping up that clunky style is pretty serious dedication to parody. You can read the full piece here and decide for yourself. 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Art Which animal is hiding in this black and white image? 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