#RSS for Comments on this article RSS for Articles of Type Opinion * Sections + TV/Film + Music + Culture + Sci/Tech + Books + Politics + Sports + Gaming + Tastes * Writers + Writers Index + Become a Blogcritic * Partners + Twittorati + BC Radio + Technorati + Desicritics + GlossLip + Fanboy + Web Cultist * More + Features + Tags + Fresh Comments + About Blogcritics + Advertise Write for Blogcritics! Find out how. Home Culture Spring In France "A sinister cabal of superior writers." Spring In France Share Author: Mat Brewster — Published: Apr 30, 2005 at 1:14 pm 37 comments Spring is in full swing here in France. Four months of dark, foreboding skies filled with rain, sleet and snow have been taken over by warm, and sun filled blue skies. The French anticipated this season eagerly a few weeks before it actually began. Just as the temperature began to warm a slight amount, though the sky remained gray and bleak, I noticed a slight cheerfulness going around. The dress began to change. The thick, long, black coats were changed into lighter, sportier jackets. Scarves began to come down from nose level, and once in awhile you could catch sign of a bare leg. It was all as if the people knew spring was finally arriving and were ready to shed the oppressiveness of the long, cold winter. Now that spring has truly arrived the change is more dramatic. Bare flesh is everywhere. The lovely French maidens have brought out their sexy wear. Their tops are tight and cut for maximum flesh and curves. All blouses seem to be sleeveless and low cut to show the most bountiful décolletage imaginable. What cloth there is fits firmly around the bosom and cannot seem to be stretched to cover the entire naval. Not to be outdone, the pants fit so low on their torsos that they expose the curvature of their hips and expose their delectable, lacy panties. The pants also remain so tight as to determine each girls personal likes, dislikes, and religion. That’s if they wear pants, normally these lovelies prefer to wear a wide variety of skirts. Long skirts, short skirts, tight skirts, loose skirts, skirts of all colors and shapes now wander the streets flirting with whoever will watch. There are long skirts with slits up to places my mother warned me about. They have tight denim skirts that might as well not exist they are so short. Or they saunter about in short loose numbers that fly high above their navels whenever the tiniest breeze flutters about. Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2 Article tags * Culture * • Humor and Satire Spread the word Bookmark and Share Profile image for mat-brewster Article Author: Mat Brewster Mat Brewster is a periodic ex-pat wondering if he'll ever find a home. You can find him musing on pop culture, and obsessing over concert bootlegs at The Midnight Cafe. Visit Mat Brewster's author page — Mat Brewster's Blog Read comments on this article, and add some feedback of your own Article comments — go to most recent comments [rss.png?1239322298] Subscribe to comment RSS * 1 - SFC SKI Apr 30, 2005 at 12:57 pm Germany goes through the same ritual, but with less fashion sense. I spend a lot more time in the parks and cafes this time of year. * 2 - Nancy Apr 30, 2005 at 2:28 pm ROTFLOL! [recovering] But ... you mean there are people in Europe who wear less clothes than all the little teenaged Brittany and JLo wannabes over here in the US of A, even in the winter? I didn't think that was possible! * 3 - Mat Apr 30, 2005 at 3:23 pm Yes, Nancy, as hard as it is to believe, I see more scantily clad lasses here than I did in the States (and I lived in Bloomington, IN a city overrun with IU Britney wannabees) SFC, I live in Strasbourg which is a stones throw from the German border. We go shopping there some (cheaper taxes)and even that close I can tell the difference in fashion sense. It's a running joke actually how poorly styled the German's are. Needless to say I've been walking to the park nearly every day :) * * 4 - nick May 01, 2005 at 4:29 am You give yourself way too much credit when you think that French people hate everything American, or that the poor Americans become the victim of the French sexual frustration. French people do hate your president that is a fact, but hey, who doesn't ? * 5 - SFC SKI May 01, 2005 at 7:04 am I have been all over western Europe, but I still have not made it to Strasbourg. Work keeps getting in the way of my travel, isn't that a shame. Yes, I'd make it a point to jog through the park whenever possible. * 6 - Dave Nalle May 01, 2005 at 10:18 am >>French people do hate your president that is a fact, but hey, who doesn't ?<< Anyone with a lick of sense - which generally doesn't include the French. Dave * 7 - Nancy May 01, 2005 at 11:25 am I'm American, I'm not deficient in common sense or good taste, & I gotta say I despise & loathe W too - and I'm not even a Democrat. I don't know what he actually is (a plutocrat or oligarch, perhaps?), but he sure ain't no died-in-the-wool Republican: he's blown the deficit to Dante's inferno, he's made government more intrusive than ever before, it's BIGGER than ever before, we're no safer than we were 4 years ago, he still hasn't caught Bin Laden or Zarqawi, we've spent $800+ billion on a bunch of losers overseas, who if they had an ounce of gumption would have gotten rid of Saddam themselves years ago, our kids still can't read worth a damn, our borders are as porous as a saturated sponge, the left and right are even less unified than they were 5 years ago, the GOP has turned into a bastion of right-wing religious loonies, the left has turned into a bastion of ivory tower theoreticians and loonies, the US is the object of contempt and ridicule thanks to his cowboy bragadoccio, too many of our jobs are overseas, one in four Americans has no health coverage whatsoever even if they do have a job, drug prices are unaffordable to those that need them most thanks to our good friends in the pharmecutical lobbies, gas prices are going out of sight, and Bush STILL can't pronouce "nu-cle-ar" correctly. I have to grudgingly agree w/(some) liberals: he's a millstone around the American neck and if the consequences weren't so heartbreakingly high, he would be a joke. There. Vented my spleen, & I'll surely catch it from everyone else who blogs on for the next week or so, but sometimes ya gotta say what ya gotta say. In this case, I think, the French are, how shall we say? Mai oui! * 8 - Mat May 01, 2005 at 12:19 pm Nick, it was a joke. The American stereotype of the French is that they are snobbish, rude, and dislike Americans. I thought it would be funny to pretend the reason for this supposed rudeness was not because of any real contempt, or inherit rudeness, but because of sexual frustration due to the near nudity on the streets. Sorry you didn't get it. You are correct that not all French people don't hate everything American. I've found they accept many things that are American. In the same manner that not all of the French hate Bush. I have some good friends who are very French and are big Bush supporters. SFC, Work? Who needs work, when there is so much of the world to see? LOL, I'm lucky enough to be taking the year off to live in France. Strasbourg is worth a visit, but you can see all there is to see within a couple of days, so I wouldn't make it the crux of a vacation. The rest,this wasn't really an attempt to be political, but I understand that sometimes you've got to lay those frustrations down where ever you can. * 9 - Dave Nalle May 01, 2005 at 1:07 pm Nancy, like the French you have the right to hate GWB for purely irrational and emotional reasons. I'll keep liking him for having the integrity to at least try to do the right thing against all adversity. No, I don't like the things which have resulted from the compromises forced on him by the nature of politics, but I see him every day still struggling to accomplish good things for the nation - like his doomed efforts on Social Security, and I'm confident that when his presidency ends - probably in dismal failure - 30 years from now people will look back and wish he'd been able to do the things he wanted to. Dave * * 10 - Nancy May 01, 2005 at 2:21 pm You read me wrong: I don't HATE Bush. I don't hate anybody. But I have no respect for him, since I see none of the virtues you do; and he has no credibility with me based on his actions, either - a common plight among politicians which I'm sure keeps them all up nights. I wish I could believe he's a decent person, but actions speak much louder than words, and in Dubya's case, his actions do not lead me to any sort of confidence in either his capabilities or his much-vaunted "moral values". But - if you feel differently, I'm glad for you. Really. * 11 - Steve S May 01, 2005 at 2:32 pm Dave, I'm shocked? Glass half empty? * 12 - SFC SKI May 01, 2005 at 2:33 pm Only you could turn a post about spring into another wasted political name-calling piece. There's something called "rising to the bait" and you have done it. * 13 - HW Saxton May 01, 2005 at 3:14 pm In all of the times that I have traveled to Europe, I didn't find the French any ruder than anyone else. It all seemed to me that you were treated the way that you carried yourself. Take a stab at the language,learn about cultural difference and apply all those things that you can & you'll be shown a much greater degree of hospitality. If you act like an asshole, you deserve to be treated like one.If you run around in ugly tourist garb(fanny packs et al), then you should be laughed at. On & on. * 14 - Mat May 01, 2005 at 4:00 pm I agree completely, HW. Far from being rude I have found the French to be a very nice bunch. That goes for the Belgiums, Germans and Italians that I have visited. Act like a jerk anywhere, and you're probably going to be treated like one. * 15 - HW Saxton May 01, 2005 at 4:16 pm Mat,Thanks. It seemed to me that Euro's in general were very nice to me in all of the countries I visited. The Swiss of all people seemed a little snobby if any one really was. Not enough to be vexing though.The Italians were absolutlely the most cordial people I met & the Germans not far behind. The only problem I found(if we can even call it a problem)was once people found out you were American they would try to pull you into political discourse. This mainly happened at pubs,gasthaus's,etc. This was easy to side step though with a joke and buying a round of beers,LOL. * 16 - Mat May 01, 2005 at 4:28 pm You've got to love the Italians! I've skirted many a political discussion. My wife has found that her students (she's teaching English at university) love to rail against US politics, but avoid any controversy in the French government. * 17 - SFC SKI May 01, 2005 at 4:52 pm Nancy, you might be able to pronounce "nuclear" but you misspelled "mais oui", seems trivial, doesn't it? On the language note, speaking just a little of the language of whatever country can get you pretty far. My limited French got me free entry to the Moulin Rouge in Paris, and a free bottle of champagne, good object lesson there. As for work, gotta pay the bills to be able to travel, I have a lot more than me, a hostel card, and a rail pass to worry about now. Now if these lottery tickets would just pay off... * 18 - Mat May 01, 2005 at 5:05 pm How'd you like the Moulin Rouge? We went by there, but everything was soooo SEEEDY! Which, when I thought about it, made sense, since the Moulin Rouge isn't exactly a convent, but it was still a bit of a shock to see all the seedy sex shops everywhere. Reminds me of the time I got stranded in Frankfurt, Germany. The armed guards at the train station wouldn't let me in because I didn't have a ticket on me. It was three o'clock in the morning and the only things open were the sex joints, and one little kebab shop. I nursed that kebab for like three hours! * 19 - SFC SKI May 01, 2005 at 5:11 pm Nursing the kebab in the middle of the red lights? I know that story. Had to do the same thing in Hamburg when we ran out of cash early. You want to talk seedy, the Reeperbahn in Hamburg makes Frankfurt look like a church social. Funny thing is, during the day, you wouldn't know that are was the heart of the redlight, the regular stores and markets draw typical shoppers in daylight hours. The Moulin Rouge is like a strip show in a museum, more like a topless Vegas review, which of course it was the inspriration for. Not a bad show, but I am glad I got in free. * 20 - HW Saxton May 01, 2005 at 5:16 pm I've got a lobby card sized advertising insert from "Le Moulin Rouge". I bribed one of the door men a few francs for it. Common practice I was told.You all know it's closed down & out of business now right? I love Red Light Districts overseas,they are sooooo sleazy & interesting because of that self same reason. * 21 - SFC SKI May 01, 2005 at 5:28 pm I did not know that, haven't been to Paris since 1994. It's hard to travel, lots of places I want to see, and places I have been to, I want to revisit. The Wall been down for 15 years and I still haven't been futher east than the Czech Republic * 22 - HW Saxton May 01, 2005 at 5:37 pm It closed down sometime last year sadly. It was kind of archaic though by todays standards.Definitely had the Las Vegas thing going on for better and worse. A lot of the topless revues in Vegas are seeming to be increasingly dated by the standards of todays entertainment.A lot of Vegas tourists are from the fly over country though and I'm sure it still is mighty racy to them. * 23 - The Proprietor May 01, 2005 at 6:01 pm I've vacationed several times in France and I would agree that the French are generally decent folk no ruder than anywhere else in Europe. We had one surly waitress in Paris (a model wannabe type) who snapped at my wife for daring to ask in English what ice cream flavors they had (I had ordered in French that evening, and she was pleasant enough to me), and some teenage punks were trying to annoy us on a train from Chartres back to Paris, nothing that couldn't have happened on the Long Island Railroad. We had some wonderful experiences chatting with people, either in my miserable French or thankfully their much better English. While I loathe Chirac and most (if not all) of the French foreign policy, I remember my trips there and the people with fondness. * 24 - HW Saxton May 01, 2005 at 6:10 pm TP,A "surly model wannabe type waitress" just described half of the waitresses in Los Angeles. And teenagers are assholes in general no matter where in the world I've been. They don't lack for attitude that's for sure.Not all of course but... * 25 - Nancy May 01, 2005 at 7:15 pm You're right. I MUST learn to spell French correctly. Also to get the correct phraseology. But I AM conversant in my native language, at least. Next 50 comments — Last Page Add your comment, speak your mind Personal attacks are NOT allowed. Please read our comment policy. Name: ____________________ URL: ____________________ Remember name and url? 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