"Help! I Googled The Guy I Was Hooking Up With And He May Be Married!"

Comments Post a comment Wednesday, 11/17/2010 2:41 PM

    Dear Single John,
    This is a really awkward and kind of embarrassing thing to admit, but I recently hooked up with this guy and it turns out he might be married. Google told me. He didn't have a ring on when we hooked up (obviously, or it wouldn't have happened), but I've seen pictures of him with it on AFTER that day. He's traveling the country right now, but he still sometimes calls and texts just to check in. Judgments and name-calling aside, how exactly do I ask him about it? It's not just wishful thinking; there's potential that he might be divorced by now. I don't know how to confront him about it without ruining everything and looking like a stalker.
    - Search and Destroy

    Oh what a tangled web we weave when we, well, search the web. Wasn’t life simpler when we didn’t have Google, and all we had to go on was instinct, rumors, and the occasional Wanted poster?

    It’s an awkward consideration—what’s the right time and fashion to ask a hookup if he or she has pledged his or her eternal love to someone else in a state-sanctioned, legally binding ceremony?

    I think you only need to ask him if you’re planning on getting together with him again. I mean, other than your own need to know, I can’t see another reason to find out.

    As a guy whose job it is to get his name published on things, I’ve had more than a couple women tell me sheepishly, “I Googled you,” and so have many of my friends who live fairly anonymous lives. It’s pretty standard nowadays. I would just tell him in very casual, almost joking way, “So…I Googled you, and I know this is gonna sound weird, but it looked like you were wearing a wedding ring in one of the pictures. Are you?”

    Simple as that. As you acknowledged, there are a million possibilities: he’s divorced, widowed, separated, or maybe he’s just a single guy who has a unique (and dumb) taste for rings that look like wedding bands.

    Don’t be embarrassed about Googling. We all do it!

    Have you ever been surprised when Googling a potential date, boyfriend or hookup?

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