#News » Top 10 most annoying Americanisms Comments Feed [p?c1=2&c2=6035736&cv=2.0&cj=1] News RSS Feed dcsimg Wednesday 20 November 2013 | Blog Feed | All feeds Website of the Telegraph Media Group with breaking news, sport, business, latest UK and world news. Content from the Daily Telegraph and Sunday Telegraph newspapers and video from Telegraph TV. ___________________ Submit * Home * News * World * Sport * Finance * Comment * Culture * Travel * Life * Women * Fashion * Luxury * Tech * Dating * Offers * Jobs * Politics * Investigations * Obits * Education * Earth * Science * Defence * Health * Scotland * Royal * Celebrities * Weird Blogs Home » News » World » Toby Harnden Toby Harnden Toby Harnden was the Daily Telegraph's US Editor, based in Washington DC, from 2006 to 2011. Click here for Toby's website. Follow him on Twitter here @tobyharnden and on Facebook here. He is the author of the bestselling book Dead Men Risen: The Welsh Guards and the Defining Story Britain's War in Afghanistan. IFRAME: http://platform.twitter.com/widgets/follow_button.html?show_screen_name=false&show_count=true&screen_name=tobyharnden [toby_harnden2_140_small.jpg] Top 10 most annoying Americanisms By Toby Harnden World Last updated: December 23rd, 2008 Comment on this Comment on this article Michelle Obama just sent me an email wishing me "Happy Holidays" and asking me to give money "to causes that are especially meaningful to me and my family" (food banks and deployed troops – not the Obama campaign this time). She doesn't mention Christmas at all, instead talking vaguely of "a time to celebrate our blessings, the new year, and a new era for our country". The term "Happy Holidays" is certainly one that grates on this British ear and I confess it's not the only one. Every day, I have to navigate the common language which, as George Bernard Shaw put it, divides our two nations. But I don't mean simple Americanisms like stroller (pushchair), diaper (nappy), ladybug (ladybird), Mom (Mum), entrée (main course), Santa (Father Christmas), takeout (takeaway), pre-owned (secondhand), mad (angry), chill (calm down), Santa (Father Christmas) etc etc but the phrases that really make you want to go postal. Here are the top 10 that, after nearly seven years here, infuriate me most: 1. "Happy Holidays." Translation: "Merry Christmas but I realise you might be Jewish, Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Bahai, something even more exotic, agnostic or Godless and I don't want to offend you." 2. "Have a Nice Day." Translation: "I would like you to have a pleasant time today" or "I hate you" – or anything in between. 3. "You're welcome." Translation: Meaningless Pavlovian response to thank you. 4. "Do the math." Translation: "Work it out yourself, stupid." 5. "Let's visit with each other." Translation: "We should spend time together." 6. "How are you today?" Translation: "We mean nothing to each other, but let's pretend." 7. "Good luck with that."Translation: "You have no chance at all." 8. "Oh my gosh!" Translation: "I fear you may feel that taking the Lord's name in vain is blasphemous." 9. "Can I use your bathroom?" Translation: "I would like to use your lavatory." 10. "Not so much." Translation: "That's completely wrong." Used on me in classic fashion by a Clinton aide back in February. Maybe there are others that make your blood boil – or some Britishisms that really get under your skin. Recent Posts * Farewell to the Telegraph December 31st, 2011 21:49 Comment on this * American Way: The Luck of Mitt Romney December 31st, 2011 20:26 Comment on this * Newt Gingrich on his history-making presidential bid: George Washington and Pearl Harbor combined December 27th, 2011 4:37 Comment on this * Newt Gingrich: All you really want for Christmas is me December 22nd, 2011 23:16 Comment on this * American Way: Prepare for a Republican war of attrition in 2012 December 10th, 2011 20:04 Comment on this How we moderate Our new look Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus. comments powered by Disqus OUR NEWS BLOGS * Addiction * Arts and entertainment * Business * Celebrities * Consumer news * Defence * Education * Environment * Health and lifestyle * History * Language * Media * Pictures * Politics * Religion * Royal family * Science * Society * Sport * uk * US politics * World Archives [Select Month..] News bloggers * UK Politics * Benedict Brogan * Iain Martin * Norman Tebbit * Daniel Hannan * James Kirkup * Toby Young * Douglas Carswell * Janet Daley * Dan Hodges * Graeme Archer * David Hughes * Mary Riddell * Andrew Gilligan * Will Heaven * More news * James Delingpole * Damian Thompson * Andrew M Brown * Tom Chivers * Janet Daley * Ed West * Brendan O'Neill * Cristina Odone * Jenny McCartney * Robert Colvile * Geoffrey Lean * Judith Potts * US Politics * Peter Foster * Tim Stanley * Robert Wargas * Nile Gardiner * Foreign * David Blair * Con Coughlin * Charles Crawford * Rob Crilly News Tags afghanistan Barack Obama BBC Boris Johnson china climate change coalition Conservative Party Conservatives David Cameron david miliband Ed Balls Ed Miliband eu euro europe european union Eurosceptic George Osborne global warming gordon brown Hillary Clinton immigration Iran Islam Israel Ken Livingstone labour Labour Party Liberal Democrats Libya Margaret Thatcher Michael Gove Mitt Romney NHS Nick Clegg Pope Benedict XVI Syria tea party tony blair Tories twitter UKIP US politics William Hague News Topics * David Cameron * Liberal Democrats * Conservative Party * Labour Party * Barack Obama * Pictures * Defence * Climate Change * Royal Wedding * Religion * China * Afghanistan Back to top * HOME * News * World News * Obituaries * Travel * Health * Jobs * Sport * Football * Cricket * Fantasy Football * Culture * Motoring * Dating * Finance * Personal Finance * Economics * Markets * Fashion * Property * Puzzles * Comment * Blogs * My Telegraph * Letters * Technology * Gardening * Telegraph Journalists * Contact Us * Privacy and Cookies * Advertising * Mobile Comparison * Tickets * Announcements * Reader Prints * * Follow Us * Apps * Epaper * Expat * Promotions * Subscriber * Syndication © Copyright of Telegraph Media Group Limited 2013 Terms and Conditions Today's News Archive Style Book Weather Forecast