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Stephen Bayley: The impossible dream of French perfection [67-France-AFP-Getty.jpg] [67-France-AFP-Getty.jpg] Something to Declare Stephen Bayley Saturday 24 August 2013 Print Your friend's email address ____________________ Your email address ____________________ Send Reset Note: We do not store your email address(es) but your IP address will be logged to prevent abuse of this feature. Please read our Legal Terms & Policies A A A Email A recent cartoon in The New Yorker showed a couple glumly facing each other across a kitchen table and the caption read: âExactly when did all the things you love about me become all the things you hate about me?â I am beginning to think that way about France. The idea of France was always a dream. And in dreams begin responsibilities and, it turns out, disappointments too. A few days in Provence, in what the French so didactically declare âone of the prettiest villages in Franceâ, has finally taught me that trying to recapture my Gallic dreamworld is like trying to embrace fog. In this hilltop village, there is a fine collection of medieval buildings and each one has been pitilessly molested by either the tourist authorities or middle-brow junk art galleries. I turned into a dark chapel for respite only to find it booming with sub-adult HD video about an âexperienceâ on offer. Oiky gap-year French youths, escaping the imminent reality of real-world unemployment, walked around officially dressed as troubadours (with trainers). Nearby was something impressive, the La Coste wine estate where Irish entrepreneur Paddy âClaridgeâsâ McKillen has created a hugely ambitious sculpture park. By the time it is finished, with the golf course and hotel, it will be a World of Adventures with vines. So we went on to Marseille, the 2013 European Capital of Culture, to see the new MuCEM (the politically correct and wearyingly inclusive Museum of the Civilisation of Europe and the Mediterranean), perhaps Franceâs very last grand projet. Local architect Rudy Ricciotti says he wants to âdemuseumify museumsâ. Not, if you ask me, a felicitous expression that promises calm and clarity. Still, if you want to find an architectural demonstration of what France has become, visit the Fort Saint-Jean complex on the Vieux-Port. I kept on trying to translate âmink coat and no knickersâ as we sweated and jostled through vapid exhibits at MuCEM, trivialised by big swinging architectural rhetoric. And if âcultureâ means vast queues of listless tourists gazing at plasma screens, personally I want none of it. At least there were no troubadours. We stayed in Le Corbusierâs Cité Radieuse which has a number of apartments available for brief stays. I am no doctrinaire opponent of strict-observance Modernism, far from it, but here was another test of French dream vs French reality. The cheerful âvertical garden cityâ of the propaganda has a haunted and sinister quality. Not sinister in the sense that a demandeur dâemploi troubadour might knife you in a dark corridor, but more that it is solid with a sense of failure. It strikes me as significant that the Toulouse riots of 2005 began in a banlieue designed by pupils of Le Corbusier. Fact: they donât have riots in Le Panier, the crumbly dense old quarter of Marseille. I reflected on this as we left the city to meet friends for lunch in Peter Mayle country near Ménerbes. Marseille is a difficult place not, I think, at ease with itself. Sweaty and desolate in turns, sullen and grumbly, despite the City of Culture wash ânâ brush-up. Then we hit the D99 between Saint-Rémy and Cavaillon with its lovely arbres and the dream came rushing back. Suggested Topics * Styles And Clothes * Marseille * Architects * France * Construction * Sculpture * Architecture * Wine * Nice Independent Comment Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus. blog comments powered by Disqus Sport Michael Clarke of Australia and James Anderson of England exchange words 'Get ready for a broken f***ing arm': Now the Ashes turn ugly ashes 2013-14Bad tempered end to England's Brisbane humiliation Arts & Entertainment Jenna Coleman and Matt Smith in 'The Day of the Doctor' Who says it has to make sense? Doctor Who special is a triumph! television Aliens, queens, and too many Doctors to count âavid Whovian John Rentoul is in Tardis heaven * The Day of the Doctor review Sport Sergio Aguero of Manchester City celebrates his second goal Aguero scores twice as City rout Spurs footballHOW many? 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It wasn't enhancing my life in any way' Simon Pegg tells us why he can't talk about the new Star Wars film... arts + ents... but then does so anyway VIDEO Arts & Entertainment She, which features Scarlett Johansson only in voice Could Scarlett Johansson be first to win an Oscar using only her voice? film Actress plays Siri-like computer program in new film Her News Vinnie Jones ha revealed he has skin cancer Vinnie Jones reveals he has skin cancer PeopleFilm star and former football hardman faces 'toughest opponent' Life & Style Capturing those magic moments: Simmy Richman with his son This time it's personal GiftsWhy more of us are putting our faces (and our kids) on presents News File: Conrad Murray at his involuntary manslaughter trial in the death of Michael Jackson, 25 October 2011 Michael Jackson doctor denies killing singer PeopleConrad Murraysays star may have given himself accidental overdose Sport Froch may have mocked Groves' credentials for sharing the same ring during the acrimonious big-fight build-up and appeared to believe he was due an easy and enjoyable night - but it proved anything but Froch bounces back to hold WBA and IBF titles boxingControversy as referee ends Froch-Groves fight in ninth round Extras Treat him: The 20 best luxury gifts for men indybest Arts & Entertainment Crackers or turkeys?: This yearâs Christmas songs music Oh come, all ye songsters: Contenders ranked and reviewed Voices Yes, we do need to change the age of consent. To 35 voicesHoward Jacobson: We should make unrealistic demands of the young Sport Points made: Olivier Giroud celebrates opening the scoring Giroud double vision keeps title in focus football Arsenal striker takes advantage of showboating by Southampton goalkeeper Boruc * Comment: Boruc makes a mockery of Saintsâ progress Life & Style Mark's fridge clear-out brunch hash Waste not, want not: How out-of-date food can be used in delicious recipes food + drink Mark Hix reveals how you can make your food go further * Mark Hix recipe: A fridge clear-out brunch hash Voices Wanted: a vision for two-thirds of the UK voices Paul Vallely: The PM has a chance to rescue some of his green credentials and revitalise the countryside - but his record suggests his mind is elsewhere Voices Technology will never replace the people who look after the elderly Predictions of disaster are always with us voices Hamish McRae: Britain was meant to have sunk by now â and the developed world along with it Arts & Entertainment Horrible History: It was while staying at the Villa Diodati, on the shores of Lake Geneva, that Mary Shelley was inspired to write Frankenstein Mythology, monsters, and Mary Shelley books The enduring fascination of Frankenstein's creation Extras Treat her: The 20 best gifts for women indybest Independent Travel Videos Independent Travel Videos Simon Calder in Amsterdam Independent Travel Videos Simon Calder in Giverny Independent Travel Videos Simon Calder in St John's Independent Travel Videos Travel blogs Barking Blondes: Chewing on technology How shopping locally can increase the value of your home The true cost of divorce: The growing problem of hidden assets Independent Travel Shop [divide.gif] Classical Spain Seven days from £599pp Find out more [divide.gif] Seville, Granada and Malaga Break 7 nights from only £549pp Find out more [divide.gif] Pompeii, Capri and the Bay of Naples Eight days half-board from £719pp Find out more [divide.gif] Please provide search keyword(s) ____________________ Go * Advanced Search * Article archive * Topics Click here... Click here... * Most Viewed * Most Shared * Most Commented * The 50 Best spas * The 50 Best Winter Breaks * The 10 Best lightweight luggage * The 10 Best hiking boots * The 10 Best ski jackets * 1 Dr Zahi Hawass with Beyoncé during the singer's visit to the pyramids earlier this month 'Rude' Beyoncé banned from Pyramids by 'Egypt's Indiana Jones' * 2 First woman to lead Friday prayers in UK * 3 He doesn't drink. He's mates with Tom Cruise. He's cagey about who's in the new Star Wars film. Has Simon Pegg gone a bit Hollywood? * 4 Patient dies following cardiac arrest after paramedics lose keys to the ambulance * 5 The Prime Minister's original message appears to have vanished, according to Mr Miliband David Cameron demeans his office independent images Lowestoft Christmas seaside dip 2012 Italy's Carolina Kostner performs during her Ladies Short Program in the ISU Figure Skating Grand Prix series in Moscow ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating A torchbearer waving to people near Ulan-Ude, the capital of Russia's East Siberian republic of Buryatia The longest running torch relay North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un attends the second meeting of security personnel of the Korean People's Army in Pyongyang Korean People's Army in Pyongyang Nine year old Filipino girl Janine Eder survived the storm by fleeing with her family to the village of Lewaan which had a school in which they could shelter. They have now returned to rebuild their house Portraits of Filipino children 23 November 2013: Arsenal's French striker Olivier Giroud (L) scores the opening goal against Southampton in the Premier League match at the Emirates Stadium Sport in pictures 22 November: Members of British comedy group Monty Python (R-L) John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Eric Idle and Michael Palin pose with compatriot actress Carol Cleveland (C) in London Britain in pictures 22 November 2013: A young girl and a boy stay in a makeshift hut near the shoreline following the recent super typhoon, Philippines World in pictures An ice sculpture glows green at the Magical Ice Kingdom in Hyde Park Cool: Hyde Park ice sculpture show The July portrait of the 2014 Pirelli calendar taken by the late German-Australian photographer Helmut Newton. In pictures: Pirelli calendar 2014 * < Previous * 1 * 2 * 3 * 4 * 5 * 6 * 7 * 8 * 9 * 10 * Next > Click here... Click here... 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View the latest travel & hospitality jobs on iJobs Day In a Page * Sun * Mon * Tue * Wed * Thu * Fri * Sat [24] [November.] [2013] (Submit) Go The hilarity and horror of two months inside: Greenpeace Arctic 30 activist Frank Hewetson reveals how he coped in a Russian prison The hilarity and horror of two months inside Greenpeace Arctic 30 activist Frank Hewetson reveals how he coped in a Russian prison Cyclists vs motorists: A phoney war between two tribes who should be on the same side Cyclists vs motorists A phoney war between two tribes who should be on the same side Jeremy Scahill: From pursuing Washington over its secret war on terror to becoming a rebel fighter in the global war against journalism âHomelandâ â the prequel The reporter who has pursued Washington over its secret war on terror has become a rebel fighter in a new conflict â the global war against journalism Gareth Bale: Cristiano Ronaldo is not a rival at Real Madrid â he is the best Gareth Bale: Cristiano Ronaldo is not a rival at Real Madrid â he is the best 10 action women of the year... But who will be No 1? 10 action women of the year... But who will be No 1? Cardboard Boxes That Look Like David Cameron: BuzzFeed - the website changing the way the world consumes news The Buzzfeedification of news You can laugh all you like at its lists but BuzzFeed is deadly serious Story of mythical marine creature takes top prize at Cumbria's World's Biggest Liar competition Mike Naylor is worldâs best liar â thatâs the truth Jonathan Brown goes along to a talent show where honesty is the worst policy Tory MP Mark Pritchard, the al-Qaâida hunter, and a £154-an-hour contract that could become a security issue The MP, the al-Qaâida hunter, and a contract that could become a security issue Tory Mark Pritchard receives fees from US intelligence firm while holding security positions in Parliament Revealed: Arnon Milchan - the Hollywood producer behind hits Pretty Woman, Fight Club and LA Confidential who became a real-life James Bond The Hollywood producer who became a real-life James Bond The man behind such hits as âPretty Womanâ was working secretly for Israeli intelligence on arms deals Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy speaks to a generation of teenage readers like no other literary creation - but whatâs the big message? Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy speaks to a generation of teenage readers But whatâs the big message? He doesn't drink. He's mates with Tom Cruise. He's cagey about who's in the new Star Wars film. Has Simon Pegg gone a bit Hollywood? Has Simon Pegg gone a bit Hollywood? The actor discusses life off the booze, the end of his 'Cornetto Trilogy' and why his friend JJ Abrams really shouldn't cast him in the new Star Wars film This time it's personal: Why more and more of us are putting our faces (and kids) on presents Christmas presents get personal Simmy Richman reports on the rise of mugs with your mug on, keyrings with your kisser and bears with your beaming smile Country living: Bill Granger's warming gratins Country living: Bill Granger's warming gratins Come winter, it's time to break out the vintage enamel oven dishes and take on the rusticity of French provincial life, says our chef Queen cucina: Anna Del Conte - Britain's indisputable authority on Italian cooking - shares a few of her top tips Queen cucina: Anna Del Conte Britain's indisputable authority on Italian cooking shares a few of her top tips Waste not, want not: Mark Hix shows how supposedly out-of-date food can be used in delicious recipes Mark Hix cooks with supposedly out-of-date food Itâs easy to let food build up in the fridge and then throw it out when it goes past its âsell-byâ date. 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